Monday, November 20, 2006
I chanced upon a bloglet that struck me, and as with all writings that have made an impact, here it is to be shared with you dearies.
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Congruence. Empathy. Soul. Attraction. Lust. Compatibility. The perfect fit - him and her.
Look around you. Have you ever assessed how and why your friends are together with their significant other? Some of these relationships do not last very long, and when they do break up, do you whisper to yourself, I knew that was coming. Just a matter of time. You say this to yourself and only to yourself; with the exception of other mutual friends, for you do not want to hurt their feelings. Or those that you have seen strung along for a couple of years, from College mates to University to working life, then one day, they tell you they are getting engaged. You knew it all along, from how they were like any other couple who moved in together in the hostels, and how you would never fail to see them apart; your solitary trips to the library, the parties, the movies, the shopping malls.
What is it indeed that constitutes the workings between two partners? I would think as we go about our daily lives meeting new acquaintances, first impressions always count. Attraction, both physically and emotionally. Gazing into a pair of eyes, not just any pair, but the ones that make you lose yourself. Those lips, not just any lips, but those that leer you into that kiss. And that scent, as you press your head into the sensuous areas, wanting to breathe in more as you close your eyes and take in yet another breath. But going beyond the tangibles, does beauty not lie within the heart? If it does come to a stage where you are willing to overlook the fact that aesthetics are not as important as you thought they were, you know for sure that it is the heart asking for more. You want the person for who they are, what they stand for and their morals and beliefs - not what they wear, how much they draw in a year, or what mode of transport they take.
Empathy, vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another of either the past or present, without having them communicated in an objectively explicit manner. Not only would this person be able to complete your sentence before you can yourself, you are able to share the same experiences, and perhaps learn something from this sharing of ideals.
Soul, meeting someone who touches your soul, who truly understands where you are coming from. His / her line of thought, passions and interest would be similar to yours, so much so that the conversations would not just skim across current happenings with one-liner insensitive replies, or worse, to have no reply at all -but delve deeper into emotions, feelings, desires, hopes, dreams. Even sitting in silence would not be deemed uncomfortable as it might with others, each taking moments to recollect, to reflect as his or her own pace.
There needs to be a middle ground ascertained between you and your partner, where you start to think not only for yourself, but how the other would feel if you did this, if you did that, all this done yet without any stifling or empty promises you can not keep. Personalities need not be entirely the same, nor need they be polar opposites that clash. Complimenting to suit the other's more like. Would I change my personality to suit the other? I have realised I can if I want to, but not to the extent I hardly recognise who I am. I will not change something non-detrimental if it is inherent in me, which makes me, me.
Not to say that differences should not exist, nor should all these things need be in place. What good would it do if you were dating an exact mirror of yourself, only to find you do not really appreciate someone who mimics your behavior? Or to ride into a relationship as a result of spur of the moment urge, only to find the chemistry that felt right at the start, has withered.
So lovers, do you have what you want?
----
So all you tender young lovers out there in the wild wild world, do you have what you want?
----
Congruence. Empathy. Soul. Attraction. Lust. Compatibility. The perfect fit - him and her.
Look around you. Have you ever assessed how and why your friends are together with their significant other? Some of these relationships do not last very long, and when they do break up, do you whisper to yourself, I knew that was coming. Just a matter of time. You say this to yourself and only to yourself; with the exception of other mutual friends, for you do not want to hurt their feelings. Or those that you have seen strung along for a couple of years, from College mates to University to working life, then one day, they tell you they are getting engaged. You knew it all along, from how they were like any other couple who moved in together in the hostels, and how you would never fail to see them apart; your solitary trips to the library, the parties, the movies, the shopping malls.
What is it indeed that constitutes the workings between two partners? I would think as we go about our daily lives meeting new acquaintances, first impressions always count. Attraction, both physically and emotionally. Gazing into a pair of eyes, not just any pair, but the ones that make you lose yourself. Those lips, not just any lips, but those that leer you into that kiss. And that scent, as you press your head into the sensuous areas, wanting to breathe in more as you close your eyes and take in yet another breath. But going beyond the tangibles, does beauty not lie within the heart? If it does come to a stage where you are willing to overlook the fact that aesthetics are not as important as you thought they were, you know for sure that it is the heart asking for more. You want the person for who they are, what they stand for and their morals and beliefs - not what they wear, how much they draw in a year, or what mode of transport they take.
Empathy, vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another of either the past or present, without having them communicated in an objectively explicit manner. Not only would this person be able to complete your sentence before you can yourself, you are able to share the same experiences, and perhaps learn something from this sharing of ideals.
Soul, meeting someone who touches your soul, who truly understands where you are coming from. His / her line of thought, passions and interest would be similar to yours, so much so that the conversations would not just skim across current happenings with one-liner insensitive replies, or worse, to have no reply at all -but delve deeper into emotions, feelings, desires, hopes, dreams. Even sitting in silence would not be deemed uncomfortable as it might with others, each taking moments to recollect, to reflect as his or her own pace.
There needs to be a middle ground ascertained between you and your partner, where you start to think not only for yourself, but how the other would feel if you did this, if you did that, all this done yet without any stifling or empty promises you can not keep. Personalities need not be entirely the same, nor need they be polar opposites that clash. Complimenting to suit the other's more like. Would I change my personality to suit the other? I have realised I can if I want to, but not to the extent I hardly recognise who I am. I will not change something non-detrimental if it is inherent in me, which makes me, me.
Not to say that differences should not exist, nor should all these things need be in place. What good would it do if you were dating an exact mirror of yourself, only to find you do not really appreciate someone who mimics your behavior? Or to ride into a relationship as a result of spur of the moment urge, only to find the chemistry that felt right at the start, has withered.
So lovers, do you have what you want?
----
So all you tender young lovers out there in the wild wild world, do you have what you want?
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