Friday, September 29, 2006
Received this short email lately from a disgruntled (somewhat) Yichung in far-away John Hopkins University, and although what he writes pertains mainly to those poor students in the States, it still makes for a very funny read as I supplant myself onto foreign soil. Here goes.
Top Ten Signs That You're a Singaporean in America:
10. You feel humbled after the first week of class and you realise that our world-class Singaporean education ain't gonna save your ass here.
9. You get complimented for your standard of English, but they don't understand what you're talking about.
8. Conversational topics often start with "I heard you get can't chew gum there" and "you get killed for doing drugs".
7. To which the standard reply should be "And you tw*ts can't even drink so shut the f**k up".
6. You feel an overwhelming urge to launch into a description of your day when you hear the standard greeting "Wassup?!" (Please don't - I have got all sorts of weird looks for doing so).
5. You feel a vague desire to fit in and start a new Singaporean fraternity named Kappa Ni Ni (KNN) (complete with a sister sorority Chi Chi Beta).
4. (For the guys) You refer to the freshmen's cafe as the cookhouse.
3. You suppress an urge to call the auntie serving you steak "Auntie".
2. You feel an immense sense of pride when you see Yeo's soya bean drink displayed on the shelves of Giant or Walmart.
1. You wonder how you got swindled into going halfway around the world to the land of the free only to realise that NOTHING is free.. certainly not the grades.
What an absolute cracker! :)
Top Ten Signs That You're a Singaporean in America:
10. You feel humbled after the first week of class and you realise that our world-class Singaporean education ain't gonna save your ass here.
9. You get complimented for your standard of English, but they don't understand what you're talking about.
8. Conversational topics often start with "I heard you get can't chew gum there" and "you get killed for doing drugs".
7. To which the standard reply should be "And you tw*ts can't even drink so shut the f**k up".
6. You feel an overwhelming urge to launch into a description of your day when you hear the standard greeting "Wassup?!" (Please don't - I have got all sorts of weird looks for doing so).
5. You feel a vague desire to fit in and start a new Singaporean fraternity named Kappa Ni Ni (KNN) (complete with a sister sorority Chi Chi Beta).
4. (For the guys) You refer to the freshmen's cafe as the cookhouse.
3. You suppress an urge to call the auntie serving you steak "Auntie".
2. You feel an immense sense of pride when you see Yeo's soya bean drink displayed on the shelves of Giant or Walmart.
1. You wonder how you got swindled into going halfway around the world to the land of the free only to realise that NOTHING is free.. certainly not the grades.
What an absolute cracker! :)
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